January 4, 2011 (#53)
Student: Can you explain what you mean when you say that our spiritual transition can get ugly when glimpses of the Infinite start to show up?
Michael: When the egoic you, or small self, sees that the Infinite You, or Big Self, exists, things can get a little crazy. First, the ego wants to deny any kind of realization that suggests that there is some larger truth beyond its grasp. Then it wants to test this new realization to see if it can be useful. Then it wants to control it. Then it gets frustrated at the impossibility of managing something that is once and forever beyond its grasp. Once frustrated it starts to resist what has been revealed. Then it sees that it cant really escape from what its come to know as something greater than itself, so it gets scared. And as you know, when fear is at the center of decision-making, things get ugly.
Student: When does the ugliness stop.
Michael: At some point it just gets so exhausted that it cant hold on to its position any longer and it lets go. When the ego surrenders totally to whats beyond its ability to control its as if the door swings open and the Big Self bursts through. This is a clumsy metaphor but I hope you get the point. At this very meeting, the entire world can start to show up quite consciously as a simple and continual expression of the Big Self.
Student: But when were engaged in either resisting or in trying to manage the Big Self, everything stays limited and separate.
Michael: Yes. And this sense of limitation and separation gives rise to our suffering, both individually and collectively.
Student: Yeah. Got it.
Michael: Good. Now let it go.